She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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