is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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