No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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