honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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