Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
