but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
