Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
