If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
