Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
