He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
