If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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