Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
