shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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