1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
