Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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