So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
