he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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