This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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