Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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