remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
