I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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