Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
