Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
