There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
