got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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