Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
