as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
