Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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