I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
