My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
