I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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