i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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