do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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