Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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