Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
