"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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