A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
