is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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