You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
