My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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