sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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