My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
