Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is my gift to your gina
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
