yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize