I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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