How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
