my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Who died my cat blue again?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
