weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
