sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
