Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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