Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
