Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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