sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
