Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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