If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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