she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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