im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I AM VODKA MAN
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
