your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
