I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
