is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
