Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
