you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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