I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I need a beard to bite.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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