Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't deserve a penis
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
