Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize