Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
